November Mind Dump🩵

November has easily been the best month of my semester. The initial chaos of the first two months, where I felt like a madwoman juggling one too many demands, left me with little time to simply look up and appreciate life. However, this month brought a welcome change as I began to embrace gratitude for the mundane.

Over thanksgiving, I went on a trip out to California. California is a place I have dreamed of visiting and potentially living since I was 9 years old watching Bethany Mota go to the Santa Monica Pier and The Grove. Trust me - I am not naive to the fact that it’s not all glitz and glam. I have always known this, but for some reason I’ve been so drawn to the earthy city life vide Los Angeles exudes.

I went into the trip slightly on edge trying to get ahead on school work, feeling very unprepared, and having slight flight anxiety over a 6.5 hour flight on spirit economy. It was a rough flight to say the least. Trying to navigate how to get to LAX-IT alone at midnight as a moshpit of 200 people push and scream to get on a shuttle was humbling. It took an hour alone to make it to LAX-IT. Then I was in an Uber for an hour fighting for my life because I get SO car sick like its nobodies business.

I went into this trip with an openness for new experiences and letting things unfold how they are meant to. I find myself constantly fighting to change unexpected circumstances and getting angry when things don’ t go to plan. You simply cannot make a plan and expect it to go as is. I am learning that there is beauty in that however. There is beauty in the way that you wake up in the morning not realizing this could be the best day ever.

One big takeaway from this trip for me was how much I surprised myself navigating a new city and experiences by myself. This semester I’ve had a strong tendency to call my mom at every minor inconvenience and looking to her brainpower to fix my situation. I am TERRIBLY at problem solving in stressful situations specially when I am alone. I didn’t realize how bad this was until I started living alone and was forced to fend for myself. I definitely proved to myself I can independently problem solve on this trip.

It wasn’t till I got off the plane in Baltimore at 1am in shorts and felt the 20 degree weather when I realized how much I loved California really set in. Time in the sun, fresh air, and nature does WONDERS for my mental health. California offers these luxuries even in November - unlike the east coast. When I was at the Griffith observatory I said to my friend, “the air here feels so fresh.”

As cheesy and cliche as this will sound California really felt like home. I didn’t feel out of place or like I was changing myself to fit the mold of the people in the city - often how I feel in New York. I felt like just being me was good enough to fit in.

Aside from my trip, a lot of unexpected turn of events hit REAL hard this month. As I mentioned, I am channeling a new mindset of “openness for new experiences,” and letting life take me where I need to be..

With the countdown to study abroad quickly creeping down, my focus is on remaining calm and collected, ready to face whatever twists and turns life throws my way. November, with all its surprises, has been a month of growth, independence, and a newfound appreciation for the journey, no matter where it leads.

~ Growth takes place when you're challenged, not when you're comfortable ~