Embracing Cinema: How Spiderman No Way Home Changed My Life (From Someone Who Had Never Seen a Marvel Movie)

It’s fall of 2021, my first semester of college—a journey, to say the least. I was a severely depressed burnt out college student counting the days to winter break. I was an absolute, indecisive mess, changing my mind about career choices nearly every day. As a marketing major with room in my schedule for a second major or a minor (or possibly even two), all I cared about was getting by each day, leaving no space for creative thinking or self-reflection. All my 18 year old mind had space for was thinking about the number ranging from 0 - 4 that defined my entire worth. I didn’t even know who I was because I was trying to fit the mold of everyone around me to find friends. I was trying to fit the mold of 4.0 college student to satisfy my need for academic validation. I was sacrificing everything to get that number even .1 higher. I was so lost with figuring out what my passions and interests were, desperate to fit into the cookie-cutter mold of my colleges demographic. I spent most nights, scrolling through my phone to fill the void left by my lack of a social life.

My social feed was flooded with a very specific picture of Tom Holland crying as he walked out of the premiere of Spiderman: No Way Home. To be honest, I didn’t even really know who Tom Holland was at the time (sue me). I was intrigued, as I had never heard of a movie theater selling out tickets within the last 10 years until this movie hit the box office. I had never seen a Marvel movie nor had any interest in anything pertaining to Marvel, but I was so intrigued by the high level of praise this movie was receiving. That winter break, freshman-year Emily was bored out of her mind and had all the time in the world to contemplate her entire existence. To avoid going down that rabbit hole, I did some research. I tried to grasp what the term “Marvel universe” was (I still don’t even know, to be frank). I watched every Spiderman movie, from Tobey Maguire all the way to Spiderman: Far From Home, to catch up on missed years of information. I became hooked. I also watched Endgame, and that’s when I fully committed to the lore. Endgame was released while I was in high school, and I remember a friend of mine saying she was going to see it that upcoming weekend. I said, “Oh, is that a new Taylor Swift movie?” thinking I missed an important pop culture event. Everyone looked at me as if not knowing about this movie was a crime against humanity.

I finally saw Spiderman: No Way Home in theaters, managing to avoid all spoilers up to this point, and I was locked in. That movie had a chokehold on my life for the next three weeks of winter break. I was not an avid film enthusiast, but I was entangled by the creative web surrounding how this movie came together along with the entire Marvel universe. Like a kid in a candy store, I became obsessed with CGI and learning how a movie is made from start to finish. I read about four books titled Film 101. When I returned to school, I met with my advisor and was handed a list of majors and minors my school offered, having to officially declare both. In the moment, it felt like I was selling my soul away with no way out, when in reality I had a whole year to change my mind. I had no intent of deciding right there and then, but I saw film studies on the list, and from that point forward, I’ve been the biggest film enthusiast you will ever meet. I’ve had the opportunity to write over a dozen screenplay adaptations (one original 😃) and produce three short films.

As time has gone on with this pursuit, I realized how much my love for film has always been hidden in the back of my heart. Since I was 8 years old, I had an abnormal obsession with YouTube that only grew throughout my teenage years. I was too scared to ever touch a camera out of fear of judgment. In my previous blog post, I talked about how deep this fear of judgment goes within my life. It paralyzed my life and identity to the point where I had no idea who I even was outside of the external factors of the world. When I finally chose to let go of this belief that I could control others' judgments of me, I began to discover who I really was. I began to have an answer to that annoying icebreaker question in every class and interview: “What do you do in your free time? What are your interests?” For my entire life, I never even knew. I was scared to answer the question, let alone even think about it, because it felt so vulnerable despite being so light-hearted. I felt like any answer I would give was up for judgment from someone within the room—my worst fear. There comes a point with my overthinking where I have to shut myself up and say, “Emily, who TF cares?” If you stay true to yourself, your goals, your interests, and your overall energy, let people meet you there. There’s no need to chase after people. Let those whose energy, passions, and dreams align with yours naturally gravitate towards you instead of forcing yourself into places you do not belong.

Since seeing Spiderman: No Way Home and becoming an avid movie lover, I not only have found an answer to what my interests are but a small portion of my true, authentic self. For me, nothing can beat the feeling of seeing a movie for the first, second, or even third time that leaves you speechless, in tears, in laughter, or maybe even embracing a new emotion. For me, Spiderman: No Way Home was the movie that taught me to embrace passion without fear. My authentic love and passion for film and writing have now translated into a series—Embracing Cinema. Not only does this align with my blog’s goal of embracing your truest, most authentic self, but what made me fall in love with movies was how they taught me to embrace emotions and passion. They taught me not to suppress feelings. They taught me to embrace what I’m passionate about and stop hiding it from the world.

What better way to kick off this series than by sharing the story of the movie that changed the trajectory of my life—Spiderman: No Way Home.