August Mind Dump🦋

Here is my extremely belated August recap. August was a magical month so I’m still reminiscing and watching my videos on the daily. One way I can describe how August feels every year is like an old grainy film picture. August is one of those months that feels so warm (literally and metaphorically lol) and nostalgic. So much change happened during August for me. I finished my summer internship, I spent two uninterrupted weeks down the shore, I turned 20, and I moved into my apartment in Baltimore. I consider myself someone who handles change exceptionally well. I don’t necessarily love change but I acknowledge it’s a necessary part of growth. Despite this, I found myself on an emotional roller coaster this month.

Being by the beach, let alone by the water has always made me feel so at peace. Maybe it is because I spent 10 years of my life (my entire childhood and teenage years) in a pool 4 hours a day, so it brings me back to good times. Either way, nothing compares to spending all day in the sun by the ocean for me. Disassociating from work, school, friends, and anything else on my mind and being by the ocean really made me sit with my thoughts and think about my life. This can obviously be a good thing, but I often get too caught up in my own thoughts causing me to overthink every gritty detail of my life.

I started overthinking everything from school, to work, my friendships, and anything else that I could have possibly messed up. It’s so important to remind yourself that you are in full control of your destiny. You have complete control over the trajectory of your life and your decisions. I’ve spent a big chunk of my life being indecisive and not wanting to make decisions on my own and for myself. This caused me to end up in situations I would have otherwise chosen differently. During August and as I start my Junior year of college I have made a commitment to making decisions based on what I think is best for myself and not weighing the opinions of others so heavily. This year I am really venturing out of my comfort zone by living alone, being more independent and less reliant on others, and moving to Italy in January. I’ve realized how important it is for me to put myself and my needs first because, at the end of the day, you only have yourself.

To be brutally honest, a lot went wrong for me as August came to an end. It felt like I just kept getting knocked down, back up, and then knocked out again. I’m trying to take these situations of navigating life living alone as an opportunity for growth. I am trying to embrace all the unknown ahead of me as an opportunity for new experiences, new people, and new perspectives as opposed to more opportunities for things to go terribly wrong.

Here’s to September and the start of Junior year! <3